Rising Above Fear and Doubt

Rising Above Fear and Doubt

Three artworks featuring a winding forest path, each piece highlighting unique colors and textures of the natural landscape.
Many pathways to take in life. Take the one that calls to you.

There are many routes a person can take to make money in this world. One could become employed at a company, working for someone else. Freelancing is a hot topic, loaning your skills and services to a person or company, but still maintaining freedom to choose which jobs to take and having more opportunity to control your finances. Entrepreneurship is an intriguing path, though it can be daunting with having full control over whether you sink or swim. You’re responsible for it all. Within entrepreneurship, there are many types of businesses someone could start. There is e-commerce, blogging, social media creator, product creator and seller, physical commerce, print on demand product creator and seller, just to name a few. Of course there are many categories and subcategories to explore in the world of starting a business, but I would like to talk about the routes I took: e-commerce and reselling.

Various decorative items displayed against a luxurious blue velvet backdrop, creating an elegant visual contrast.
Each trip to procure inventory for my store is like a treasure hunt. I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty, whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got 20...ok, maybe more than 20.

If you’ve read my other posts, you may know by now that my life has been far from stable. I’ve taken so many different paths that have led me to this point in my life, which I believe was an inevitable destination no matter what road I travelled down. I have had many jobs, with the two longest positions lasting just short of two years. I’ve never been able to hold down a steady job, but I’ve gained much experience, which I’m thankful for. My first job was dishwasher at an Italian restaurant at the age of 14. I’ve been a pizza maker, retail cashier, retail stock person, hospital housekeeper, learning center receptionist, kitchen prep and cook, restaurant hostess, casino hostess, waitress, bartender, intimate apparel specialist, and ammunition inspector and packager. I began college the year I graduated high school, thinking I would become an elementary school teacher. However, after the first couple of years of school, I changed my major to social services, because I wanted to help teens who were in the foster care system, the same way my social worker helped me.

Two images of a smiling woman wearing a graduation gown and cap, celebrating her academic achievement.
Some of my high school graduation photos. Graduating high school was a huge accomplishment, because at the age of 16 I was moved into the foster care system. I was lucky enough to not only have a great social worker, but to have eventually been placed into a home that encouraged me to continue with school.

Unfortunately, I never graduated college. I dropped out when I became pregnant with my first daughter, and I was already working and lived an hour away from my school. I felt it was impossible to finish school. Looking back, I’m sure now that I could have figured something out, but it was just easier to quit school at the moment. Now here I am, 18 years later, a ton of student loan debt, and nothing to show for it.

A happy pregnant woman showcasing a cup and a set of decorative containers, celebrating gifts for her baby.
A photo of me at work pregnant with my first daughter, Hope. I'm showing off some gifts I received from my coworkers. My nursery theme was Disney's Peter Pan and they gave us a really cute Peter Pan cup and a set of Tinkerbell butterfly shaped decorative containers.

I know there are many people in the same boat. I take full responsibility for my financial decisions as a young adult, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have struggled and still continue to struggle financially. I have never been able to provide financial stability for my girls, and that is something I’m trying to rise above. My mental instability has been something I have wrestled with, and as I got older, my inability to work for somebody had reached its peak, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew I was sick, but being a mom with a severe mental illness in an unhealthy marriage, nobody was able to help me, although I spent two weeks inside a behavioral health inpatient facility. After my stay, I was sent right back to the services that had not worked for me several times before. The shame that comes with not being able to take care of your children properly because of an illness is all consuming. There are many resources for children with mentally ill parents, but there are very few resources for mentally ill parents, struggling to raise their children despite their illness.

A mother and her two daughters enjoy a ride together in a car.
Me with my two daughters. Hope is in the red hoodie and Lora is giving the peace sign in the back. Being their mom is one of my greatest joys and they have changed my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

Building an income from nothing is extremely difficult. I had to be strategic. The problem was, my mental state would not allow me to think rationally. One day I would be completely passionate about something, and the next day I wanted nothing to do with it. This made starting a business completely impossible. One idea I did have that seemed to never go away was reselling. Ever since I was a kid, I loved thrift stores. Throughout my life I’ve shopped at second hand stores, not only out of need, but because I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt for treasure, and I’ve always loved vintage items and antiques. There are so many random things you can find. After my last divorce, I was determined to start an Ebay business. This was during the first year of Covid, and I was having a difficult time maintaining my job as a housekeeper at a hospital. So much stuff was going on that I could not handle all of the policies that were not being followed and the demand on everyone during that time. I completely lost all sense of calm, and a meltdown during one of my shifts made me realize I couldn’t work anymore. Mentally, I was getting worse, and I needed to figure things out.

A woman in an elegant dress stands proudly, holding a picnic basket and standing next to a blanket that has a variety of delightful food items on it.
On a mental health journey; just took a detour for some snacks!

Reselling was a passion of mine, but I had never resold anything in my life. I watched every single Youtube video I could on the subject, and took notes. I was sure I could do it, but doubt and fear stopped me. I spent at least 5 years in the research phase, but never took the step to begin. I was mostly fearful of the shipping process, and I was worried that I would have many complaints from customers. This was a lesson in confidence, and believing in myself. When I finally began selling on Ebay, it was because I had the support I was lacking previously, and that made all the difference. None of my fears came true, and through hard work and a passion for what I do, I have sold over 400 items and have received nearly 200 positive feedback. I am building a brand that I am passionate about, because not only am I reselling treasure I have found in thrift stores, yard sales, and estate sales, but I am also finally offering art printed onto vintage book pages and ephemera for crafting, and I will eventually sell fine art prints of vintage art.

A man and woman with long hair, smiling outdoors in the sunshine.
Finding my fiance, Ed, in this life has been the catalyst for my growth as a person. His love and support is what allows me to follow my dreams and to reach for the success I know I can achieve.

Although I still watch other resellers on Youtube, the thing that has really helped me thrive in my business is taking all of the advice I hear with a grain of salt. My fear of starting this business stemmed from thinking I had to do things everyone else’s way. I felt that in order to be successful, I had to disregard who I was, and just be a copy of other people who had success in the business. I now understand that everyone brings their own unique perspective on things, and business is no different. Your voice is unique. Your thoughts are unique. This world needs your personality and creativity. If you are struggling to find your place in this world, please take my advice, with a grain of salt of course. Be yourself, and success will follow.

A charming fairy rests on a bench, a flickering candle beside her, creating a magical ambiance in the twilight.
Embrace your magic!

2 thoughts on “Rising Above Fear and Doubt”

  1. Sharing your path on a journey you are so passionate about is so powerful, Geni.
    Love the gadgets, whatzitz pic. Sure it was a long road, but you are doing what makes you happy. I’m proud of you always, My Girl🎠🚂

    1. Your love and support have gotten me through so much in my life Mom. I am so lucky and blessed to have you as my mom. You have never given up on me and have always done your best. I hope I can inspire others through being real and honest with my experiences. Thanks always for checking out my new post. Love ya!

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